


Bumps

by Savanna Rose (vintagecoffee), vintagecoffee



Category: Love Island (Video Game)
Genre: Angst and Feels, F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-06-19
Updated: 2021-02-20
Packaged: 2021-03-04 06:15:19
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 19,638
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24799048
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/vintagecoffee/pseuds/Savanna%20Rose, https://archiveofourown.org/users/vintagecoffee/pseuds/vintagecoffee
Summary: His dull eyes finally meet mine, he sighs before taking my hand “For now, we don’t decide, or say anything.” I roll my eyes “We can’t exactly avoid it either.” Bobby nods, gulping “I know, but I don’t think we’ll be able to find a solution to this without hurting each other.” he frowns, “You look knackered, so I suggest we sleep this off, and once we’re feeling a little more stable, we can talk about it.”
Relationships: Bobby McKenzie & Main Character (Love Island)
Comments: 6
Kudos: 31





	1. We'll be okay.

**Author's Note:**

> Heyo! This is my very first LITG fanfic! I've been pushing the idea of writing this for weeks because Bobby's such an interesting character that I was afraid I'd ruin it while writing and I've had writers block for seven months now. Anyway this fic will have a few more parts probably 3 or 4, but I'm not sure if I should continue, it all depends on how well it does, so let me know what you think!  
> Thanks for reading! xx

**18th September 2019**

**Wednesday, 5:58 AM**

**Glasgow, Scotland**

Thunder bolts strike louder as the rain pours harder, the thick droplets hitting our bedroom window waking me again for the millionth time. Groaning, I shift in the cold bed searching for the warmth I was engulfed with, only to find his side empty and cold. I lazily hoist myself up, looking around the dark room, Bobby was nowhere to be seen and considering the storm was still raging, I knew he didn’t get to sleep well either. 

As expected, he stood before the window watching the rain pour down, his cupcake pants hanging low at his hips. Quietly, I walk towards him, wrapping my arms around warm torso from behind before planting a kiss over his freckled shoulder “Someone’s up early.” I whisper, planting another kiss on his jaw. “I couldn’t sleep through the storm.” he replies before sipping his tea. “Are you sure it’s not something else?” I ask worriedly, my fingers lightly brushing his abdomen. Sighing, he places the mug down at the table to his right, before turning to face me “Well that, and something else.” He smiles weakly, pulling me closer. “Talk to me.” I caress his cheek with one hand, while rubbing his back with the other. 

“It’s the same bloody thing lass, don’t worry about me.” 

“Bobby, I told you, take the money.” Bobby huffs, looking away. I knew that would upset him but, he was incredibly stubborn and wouldn’t let me put in my share of the prize money to buy the shop. We both agreed that I’d move in with him, so we didn’t need to get a new apartment and I was happy with that, and he still wouldn’t let me invest in his project. “And I told you, I will not. It’s your share.”

“Baby, I don’t really need it, and I know how much this means to you.” Bobby shakes his head quickly, his eyes closed now. “Raven, we won’t agree on this, just like last time, so let’s just not discuss it.” He opens his eyes, gives me a weak smile and shrugs “Besides, I’ll figure this out. I have a few endorsement deals, they might help a lot.” 

“I know, but what if you’re too late? John did say he got an offer he couldn’t refuse a few days ago.” 

“It won’t be too late, John is just bluffing,” he kisses my cheek before picking up his mug and walking towards the kitchen, and just like that, his armor is up and he’s doing his best not show how he really feels. I sigh in defeat, staring out at the rain as I place my palm over my abdomen and sigh, getting lost in my own trail of thoughts.

For weeks now, I’ve had my suspicions about being pregnant, I took two tests a few nights ago, one was negative and the other was positive. I couldn’t rely on those, so I went and took a blood and urine test at the hospital to be sure before breaking the news to Bobby, who’s already worried about his business. Which is why I’ve contacted his sister, Olivia and asked her to go with me today to get the result.

** *** **

My leg bounces nervously as we wait in the doctors office, my palm gripping the armchair hard. “Raven,” Olivia whispers as she notices how anxious I am, “Take a deep breath,” she adds as she rubs my back. My stomach somersaults as I try to inhale slowly, then exhale as I lean back into my chair. “What if it’s a positive?”

“Then that’s great! I’m sure Bobby would be over the moon!”

“And what if he’s not, Liv? I wouldn’t be if I was in his position.” I whimper, “The timing couldn’t be worse.”

“I don’t think the baby is going to be bad at this timing. And babes, what were you expecting? You had sex without protection!” she chuckles. My cheeks heat up a little “We did!”. 

Before Olivia can reply, the door was opened and the doctor steps in with a file in hand. “So, are we ready to find out the result?’ I nod quickly, gulping down the lump in my throat. The doctor fumbles with the papers, he reads them silently before smiling “Congratulations, you’re pregnant!” my ears began to ring, I couldn’t hear anything the doctor said after that. I just sat very still, staring ahead with utter confusion with what to do next and how to tell Bobby. 

** *** **

A familiar touch wakes me up as soon as I begin to doze off, Bobby was gently stroking my hair softly “I’m sorry, couldn’t resist.” He mumbles before planting a tender kiss on my lips “Mmm, salty,” he jokes but his smile fades as he studies my face “Were you crying, lass?”

“I’m pregnant.” I blurt out without warning, Bobby stammers, his hand slipping down “A-Are you sure?” I nod. “Like a hundred percent, sure?” I nod again, eyes welling up again as I study his shocked reaction. I open my palm and reveal the crumbled paper before handing it to him. Sitting up, I watch as he sits next to me and reads, his free hand on his neck, nervously scratching. “But we used protection every time,” he trails off, “The doctor said it could break…” I sniffle, before standing up and walking towards the kitchen. 

_I knew he wouldn’t be happy, why would he be?_

_It’s too early for many reasons!_

_We had just taken a few big steps together, and now with this bakery problem?_

_Having a baby doesn’t exactly make a nice addition to this mix._

And my parents, oh god my parents, the people who in the beginning weren’t too happy with me going on the show to begin with, and now they get to hear that I’m having a child out of wedlock? 

They will be beyond disappointed.

I gulp down my water anxiously, bouncing my foot against the floor as more tears roll down my face. I hear a faint “Oh god,” from the living room, causing a sob to escape my lips before I could control it. I take a deep breath in order to control my anxiousness, but I end up crying even more. 

Bobby’s footsteps were quick as he makes his way toward me, engulfing me in his arms, repeatedly kissing my forehead, his free hand rubbing my back soothingly. “I’m sorry,” I mumble against his chest, tightening my arms around him. “What? Raven, why are you apologizing?” he pulls back, I look up and find his eyes welling up “Baby, this isn’t your fault.” 

“I know but, the timing.” I sniffle, “It’s so soon and, we’re just getting our shit together, and this happens!” Bobby sighs before pulling me close again, I burry my head in his chest, slowly calming down in his embrace “I know we both wanted kids, but not now!” I huff. “Well, it’s a good thing that I didn’t take you up on that offer then huh?” He jokes, referring to my share of the money. I pull back to glare at him “Too soon?” he sighs. “Sorry, I just,” I breath out “I know you’re trying to cheer me up but, I know you’re upset, don’t hide it.” 

Bobby is silent for a few moments, his eyes avoiding mine, “I…” he trails off, huffing as his tied tongue betrays him. “How far along are you?” he finally asks, “Not sure, I’ll need an ultrasound to know.” I whisper, fumbling with my shirt nervously “What are we going to do, Bobby?” 

His dull eyes finally meet mine, he sighs before taking my hand “For now, we don’t decide, or say anything.” I roll my eyes “We can’t exactly avoid it either.” Bobby nods, gulping “I know, but I don’t think we’ll be able to find a solution to this without hurting each other.” he frowns, “You look knackered, so I suggest we sleep this off, and once we’re feeling a little more stable, we can talk about it.” 

Uncertainty was evident in his eyes, but the distant look on his face is what scared me the most. Bobby finds it hard to communicate the way he feels, and often he puts up his walls to protect himself from anything that may harm him, this gave me flashbacks to how he’d react to certain situations in the Villa when he felt insecure. Normally, I’d reassure him and do everything in my power to prove to him that he was no reason to be afraid, but I’m scared and unsure as hell too. 

Silently, we walk into the bedroom then lie down facing each other. Our eyes meet, and he offers me a small smile before pulling me closer, “We’ll be okay,” he whispers against my neck before pecking my jaw, but it seems like he’s asking me more than reassuring, so I reply with “Of course we will.” before dozing off in his arms. 

** *** **

“So far so good!” the doctor smiles as he eyes the screen, running the transducer probe around my belly. “You are currently at seven weeks, so one more week and you’ll be finishing the second month.” He adds before asking if we’d like pictures of our baby. “Of course” Bobby whispers, squeezing my hand. I wasn’t sure he’d be so keen on coming with me to the appointment, considering we were both still nervous and emotional from last night. 

“When do we tell our families?” I ask as I glance at the photos on the way home “That is of course, considering we decide on keeping the baby.” I added, avoiding Bobby’s side glance who doesn’t say anything until we stop at the traffic light. He takes my hand in his, gently rubbing his thumb over mine “Are you saying you want an abortion?” he asks nervously, afraid to assume my decision “N-No, not exactly.” I shake my head, meeting his golden orbs “I meant that we need to decide together what to do next. Including whether to keep the baby or not.” He nods, but before he can reply the light goes green. 

A few minutes later, we were in the kitchen prepping for lunch quietly, but I could tell that both of us couldn’t handle the silence or tension. “I think we-” we both mumble, stopping abruptly to listen to each other. “Go ahead,” I bite my lip, waiting for him to begin “I think it’s best if we both said what we really want to do, then we can discuss the next step..” he trails off as he chops the tomatoes, “I’m with you on that,” I nod “But Bobby we need to be one hundred percent honest with each other.”

“Only a hundred percent? Seems low.” He smirks, reminding me of our conversation before the last recouping back at the villa, when our biggest problem was being able to choose each other, and that if it had come down to someone snatching the other, we’d run away from the villa hand in hand. I chuckle “I’m serious!” he grins when he hears me laughing, “I know, lass.” He sighs “We both want kids, but we never discussed exactly when.” he begins, adding the tomatoes to the sauce pan, before turning to check on the lasagna in the pot. “I guess, we cannot really control the timing, and you probably could tell that I was bricking it yesterday…” he shoots me an apologetic look, and I kiss his cheek “I was too, still am to be honest.”

“Just so you know, I’m with whatever decision you take.” He smiles weakly, fear of my unknown decision clear in his eyes “Babe, we agreed we’d be honest about this.” I whisper, “You don’t need to be scared of my reaction, after all this baby is a huge responsibility, both of us have to be on the same page in this.” 

“Y-You’re right.” He sighs, covering the pot and stepping away from the stove. I lower the heat and let the sauce simmer before following him, “You know you can tell me anything.” I reassure him, hands cupping his beautiful freckled cheeks, he smiles “I know, it’s just a little hard for me to get it out.” I nod knowingly, “Take your time.” I peck his lips. “I..” he begins, eyes wandering around “I cannot ask you to get an abortion.” He shakes his head, “And it's partially because this has to be something that you’d want, and because I…I want the baby.” His eyes find mine, hopeful and anxious at the same time. “Y-You do? But I thought you’d want us to wait a little.”

“If we were having this discussion without you being already pregnant, I’d say we need time, but-” he sees my surprised reaction, and his eyes widen as he tries to explain “I mean I don’t want the baby because whoops it’s already happened! I do want the baby because I genuinely want a family with you,” he seems to regain some confidence as he wraps his arms around my waist, pulling me closer “You know I’d love that, lass.” I smile shyly, “So if you want that now as well, that would be great.” He kisses my lips. “What about your project? And isn’t starting a family this early, scaring you?”

“Baby, it’s freaking me the hell out, but, I’d be lying if I said that I completely hate the idea.” He shrugs “Are we on the same page?” his tone was careful as he looks at me with adoration, I take in a deep breath before nodding “We are.. I’d hate the idea of killing the baby, but the stressful part is how we’re going to manage.” Before he can reply, a loud hissing noise comes from the stove. “Maybe we should finish this once lunch is ready.” Bobby chuckles as he removes the lid.

Hours later, we’re cuddled up on the couch watching cartoons, I glance up at Bobby to find him staring off in the distance, his hand absent-mindedly tracing hearts on my belly, “What’s on your mind, handsome?” I whisper, planting a small kiss on his jawline. A faint smile appears on his face, his eyes meeting mine “Wondering how we’re going to break the news to our families.” He shrugs, “Also contemplating names.”

“Names?” I smile, turning to face him “Do you have a list of favorites?” he smiles “Not a list, but I think I have a favorite”.

“Well, are you going to share, or?” I poke him lightly “Uhm, yeah.” he bites his lip “I’ve never thought about what I’d name my children but, if it’s a girl, I think Janis is a lovely name.” his eyes meet mine, “Your grandmothers name,” I smile “I know, you probably hate it-” I cut him off with a cheek kiss “Not at all! I love that you’d name our daughter after her.” a smile of relief and excitement appears on his face. “What if it was a boy though?” Bobby smirks “Bobby Junior, easy,” he jokes, but retorts quickly “Or, we could name him Keaton.” I nod “Another pretty name.”

“Though I’m sure the name part isn’t the most difficult one to go through.” I mumbled as I rest my head on his chest, “You’re worried about your mom.” Bobby states, rubbing my back. Just the thought of having to confront her was making me nauseous. “She won’t take it well, I’m telling you.” I huff, closing my eyes “What if she does?” Bobby whispers, “As much as I’d like that, I know she won’t. Considering our history, and how strict she is.” before he can reply though, I jump to my feet and run quickly to the bathroom. 

The thick chunky liquid has already reached my throat as I push the bathroom door open, kneeling beside the toilet seat.“Oh god,” I whimper once I’m done, slumping down to the ground as I take a breath “I knew Lasagna was too much” I hear him whisper as he helps me up to wash up “No, it’s not the lasagna.” I chuckle as I wash my hands “This is very normal in my first trimester. Looks like it’s going to be a tough one.” I mumble before brushing my teeth. 

“But I’m sure certain types of food can help you with the sickness.” he suggests, leaning against the doorframe, a concerned look evident in his amber eyes. “Yeah, but it’s different for every pregnant woman.” I rinse off the toothpaste then drag myself back into the living room, seconds later I feel Bobby pick me up gently “Are you sure you’d be able to go to work like this?” I roll my eyes “Like what, babe? I’m not injured, I’m pregnant.” I chuckle, but Bobby’s face was serious.

“Well, you’ve been dizzy since last night and your post-vomit state isn’t too reassuring.” he mocks as he leads us to the bedroom, but as he lowers me onto the bed, his face turns serious. “Take a leave.” He adds, his hand cupping my cheek “Bobby, I’ll have a long leave once I’m close to the delivery, I’m fine really.” I smile planting a small kiss onto his palm, he gives me a weak smile before sighing “We should really talk to our families soon though.” I groan in response “I know, Lass, but your mom will have to accept it. I know it’s not easy, but you’re not alone in this, never forget that.” 

My heart flutters at his words, especially knowing how much he means it. “You know that when things move fast, it scares me… and I’m not saying that I hate how things have been going but, moving fast doesn’t always end up being a good thing.” I begin referring to our relationship and the pregnancy “I’m not doubting my feelings or yours, but I’ve always had things take time for me to happen. So, when the slightest change happens, I freak out and I end up fucking up.” I hadn’t realized that I was tearing up until I feel Bobby shifting closer to wipe my tears “I’m scared of this pregnancy, even though I want it. I’m afraid it’s going to ruin my relationship with my mom which it’s already rocky, and mostly I’m afraid it’ll put so much pressure on us.” I bite my lip, too nervous to look Bobby in the eye as my confession was spilled out. 

Gently, Bobby lifts my chin up and I’m met with his beautiful tearful eyes, “I know, I’m scared of that too.” He whispers, “I’ve always wondered what kind of tests our relationship would go through, but I never expected it to be an early pregnancy.” I place my hand over his, giving him a gentle squeeze “Me either, but I don’t think we would have ever expected anything.” I shrug “And you’re right, we’re going to have to face the music.” 

“That’s my girl.” He smiles proudly “If for some reason, both of our families end up hating our decision, we have each other’s support and that, is the most important kind of support we’ll need.” I nod as I sniffle “You’re right, it’ll be okay.” I add, uncertain, and as I look up at my gorgeous boyfriend, I can see the precariousness in his eyes.

Urgent and rapid knocks sound off seconds later, “I’ll get it, don’t move missy.” Bobby instructs before leaving the room. Seconds later, the knocks were getting louder and louder, curious as to what’s taking Bobby so long, I walk over to the door and see a frozen Bobby staring into distance “Who is it?” He doesn’t reply, his gaze fixed on the door, I furrow my brows and swing the door open only to freeze at the sight in front of me. 

“Took you long enough,” my mother snarls, “When exactly were you going to inform us of this pregnancy?” she adds, her tone dripping with poison as she glares at Bobby and I. I couldn’t form any word, still shocked at seeing both our families standing outside the house, but as I glance at each of them, I catch Olivia’s guilty eyes. 

_I’m absolutely fucked._


	2. Facing the music

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Raven, please understand where I’m coming from. I don’t want you to end up like me.” Her tone was now soft and kind. “Like you, how exactly?” I ask as I tilt my head slightly “As in, when my father left you?” her posture stiffens at that, fury taking over her again. “Is that what you’re trying to imply? That Bobby, will just leave me with a child still growing inside me?”

** 12:03 AM  **

** Bobby and Raven’s house **

The silence was unbearable, my eyes swam around our living room avoiding Bobby’s parents, and my furious mother. Not a single word was shared since we were surprised with their visit a few minutes ago, and it would seem that they’re waiting for us to explain, but I don’t even want to be in this room at the moment. 

_Just say something, damn it._

“Would someone say something? Isn’t it enough that you’ve hidden the pregnancy, and now you won’t even own up to it?” my mother spat out, rage and disappointment evident in her tone. “Mrs. Anderson, I understand you’re upset, but we didn’t exactly hide it. We only found out yesterday.” Bobby gulps, before turning to look at me “Raven and I were discussing how to exactly break the news to you.”

“So you plan on keeping it?” she scoffs. “Aileana, what kind of question is that?” Bobby’s mother asks in utter shock. “Oh come on, don’t tell me you’re happy your son knocked her up!” my eyes widen “Mom!” her head snaps quickly in my direction “Watch your tone young lady, you’re not in the clear yet so I suggest you answer my question.”

I glance at Bobby and he takes my hand in his “Of course we’re keeping the baby, what kind of mother do you think I am?” I reply firmly, my mother clenches her jaw at that and sends more death glares my way. “You realize how hard it is, to have a baby this early into your relationship?” she hisses “You realize how fucked up it is, to even have the baby out of wedlock?! Are you insane, Raven?” 

I thought I’d get mad and end the conversation right then and there, but instead I ended up chuckling and retorting with “Really, mom? You had _me_ out of damn wedlock and look how it turned out!” my mother’s face was indescribable, her jaw drops at my answer as it had revealed my bright upbringing in front of Bobby’s family. “You cannot come to our house, yell at us for disagreeing with your murder plan just because _you’re_ not happy about it.” I lean forward, my hands shaking as I point at her “I know you wish you had your mother tell you that when you were pregnant, but instead she was supportive. Why can’t you do that for me?” 

“Baby, take a deep breath.” Bobby whispers next to me, taking my shaky hand in his while his other rubbed my back. “Mrs. Anderson, we want to keep the baby because we both want kids in our future. An-” Bobby wasn’t even done as my mother jumps in “Future! You said it, the right time is not now!” 

“Well, sometimes life doesn’t go as planned, and we tried to keep it safe, but it’s fate that we conceived.” Bobby, who is still very calm, respectfully replies. “Well, how wonderful!” My mother chuckles “Oh! I made a huge mistake, but what can I do about it, aye?” she shrugs as she pouts mockingly. “It’s not like science came up with something called abortion!”

“Aileana, please. They’ve clearly mentioned that they want the baby.” Mrs. Mckenzie whispers, clearly annoyed with my mothers remarks. She turns to look at Bobby and I, before taking hold of Mr. Mckenzie’s hand in hers and says: “Honey, we support your decision. We just want to be involved, you know?” she smiles kindly at me. “I know, and we would never hide this from you, it’s just, when Olivia and I found out, Bobby wasn’t in the clear and we needed to decide what to do.” 

“I know, sweetheart, Olivia though made it seem like it happened months ago.” She glances up at Olivia, who shyly stares down at her lap. “I’m really sorry, you guys. I was just afraid that Raven wouldn’t want to share the news, or even keep the baby.”

“So you go behind our backs? Liv, you should’ve let us do the talking.” Bobby tuts. “I’m sorry, are we forgetting that this decision is completely risky?” my mother interrupts, recharged for another argument. “Mom, please.”

“No, don’t you try and beg me to comprehend this, Raven.” She huffs “You don’t think I want my only child to have a family? I’d be more than happy to see my grandchildren running around this house, but not now, not like this. The right time is later, when you and Bobby are married.” 

“Mom, if you really want me to be a mother, time shouldn’t stop you from accepting my pregnancy.” I whisper “Raven, please understand where I’m coming from. I don’t want you to end up like me.” Her tone was now soft and kind. “Like you, how exactly?” I ask as I tilt my head slightly “As in, when my father left you?” her posture stiffens at that, fury taking over her again. “Is that what you’re trying to imply? That Bobby, will just leave me with a child still growing inside me?” 

“Raven,” she warns as she gulps, “Bobby already knows, so stop acting like it’s a secret. Dad’s not dead! He’s somewhere living his life and not even thinking about us! So why do we worry so much over people finding out that you had to raise me on your own?”

“That does not give you the right to talk like that to your own mother!” she spat, “I don’t go around screaming that a man knocked me up out of wedlock, because I don’t want pity. I was young and stupid, I didn’t know what I was doing. If only my mother knew how to deal with this, rather than coddle me, none of this crap would’ve happened.” I inhaled sharply at her words, a horrible pain forming in my chest. _Did she really say that to my face?_

“Mrs. Anderson, I know you don’t mean that, and again I understand why you’re angry, but you cannot say that to your own daughter.” Bobby replies, anger breaking away at the calm demeanor. As my mother prepares another snarky comment, Mr. Mckenzie, who has been quiet all the time, shoots me an apologetic look before clearing his throat “Let’s take a deep breath, okay? We cannot deal with this by fighting.” 

“I knew you were on my side, thank you! Finally someone with common sense.” My mother sighs, but Mr. Mckenzie shakes his head quickly “No, that’s not what I meant. I may not be too happy, but I cannot agree with your method of dealing with the news, or the pregnancy itself.” He huffs before turning to us “I know you two are very scared, and there’s no denying that you’ve tried to avoid it, but that doesn’t mean that I don’t support you.” He smiles weakly “I just hope you know, what you’re getting yourself into.” 

“Thank you, Mr. Mckenzie-”

“Raven, there’s not need for formalities, you’re a part of the family.” I smile “Thank you, D’andre. We’re one-hundred percent sure that we want the baby.” I smile at him as I gently squeeze Bobby’s hand.“Well this is just beautiful,” my mother laughs before standing up, “But, I won’t sit and watch my own daughter, fall into the same pit I fell into.” She walks over to the coat hanger and claims her belongings before turning to us “If you want my blessings, or my presence in your life, you know what to do.” 

“Mom, I cannot murder my baby. P-Please understand that.” I plead, hoping that she’d have a change of heart. Sighing, she walks closer before whispering “Raven, you either get rid of this thing, get married as soon as possible, or you’ll have to forget about your mother. Understood?” she shrugs, as if it were that easy to choose. “Get married? Are you actually serious?” I stood up “How would that appease you?! Because technically to people, we’d look like we had the baby after getting hitched? Is that what you really care about?” I scoff in disbelief“You’d also guarantee that your child will have a father.” She shrugs. “I call it a win-win situation. Everyone is happy in the end.” 

“Mom, we cannot force marriage because we have a baby on the way, that’s absurd!”

“I thought you loved Bobby, and wanted a future with him?” 

“I do! But getting married to please you, and the society, doesn’t scream romantic to me. We’ll get married when _we_ want to.” My mother offers a cold smile, “Fine, your mind is made up.” She turns away and walks towards the door, opens it then turns her head our way “Don’t call me when you realize that I was right.” And with that being said, she walks out. 

“Oh god.” I whisper shakily, tears pooling my eyes as I sit back down. I knew my mother would be angry, but I never expected her to give me an ultimatum that is just impossible. “I-I’m sorry on behalf of her… she’s pretty hot-headed and c-can often make a fuss out of n-nothing.” Silently, Bobby brings me closer, his arms gently wrapping around me. “Don’t apologize, it’s not your fault.” Olivia whispers “If anything, all of this is because of me. I’m really sorry, my intention was to persuade you to keep the baby.” 

“I thought that Raven would for sure go for an abortion, considering her reaction at the doctor’s office.” Olivia explains as I cry against Bobby’s shirt. “Olivia, it’s been a day! You couldn’t respect our privacy? Deciding to keep the baby isn’t going to suddenly happen, because you tried to form an intervention!” Bobby’s composure was broken, his tone no longer gentle. I draw back and sniffle “Bobby, please don’t yell.” 

I look over at Olivia “I don’t want to blame my mother’s reaction on nobody but her, but Bobby’s right. If I broke the news to her, we wouldn’t be in this icky situation…” Olivia bites her lip “You’re right.” she fiddles with her shirt before saying “I’ll do anything to prove to you both, how sorry I am…” 

“I know you are, but I am disappointed.” Bobby whispers “Since when did you find it hard to keep a secret? One that’s going to affect others at that.” He adds. “What matters now, is how you get through this.” D’andre sighs, rubbing his temple “Of course, we’re here for you, but I really hope you’re aware of the responsibilities.” 

“We are, dad. Don’t worry, you’ve raised a fine man here.” He jokes, earning a small chuckle from everyone and a grin from me. “Hey, that’s the smile I adore.” He smiles before kissing my dimple “You just couldn’t pass the opportunity to make a joke, huh?” 

“You know me too well, Lass. Besides, they say Al-”

“ _Always laugh when you can. It is cheap medicine._ ” We all retort, knowing Bobby too well. He feigns a frown, a hand over his chest “Have I become too predictable?” Olivia nods “Sort of.” I chuckle before sighing “You’re right though.” Bobby beams “Everyone, I’d like you to meet my soulmate!” Olivia rolls her yes but her grin is wide “You two are just too cute.” 

“Thank you sis, we try.” 

“All right, it’s late and we need to leave you two to rest.” D’andre and Amelia stand up, and so does Olivia. “We’re sorry we barged in like this.” Bobby’s mom whispers as we walk them to the door “No, don’t be.” I smile at her, she smiles back before hugging me “Don’t worry, I’m sure your mother will calm down eventually.” She whispers before drawing back. Knowing my mother, and considering the way she reacted, I know she won’t but I just nod politely. “Even when she does accept this, I want you to know that you’re a part of this family, and I’ll be more than happy to help with anything.” 

“Thank you so much, that means a lot to me.” I tear up, even though I’ve been trying my hardest to hold my tears back. “It’ll be okay, don’t worry.” She squeezes my palm softly. “Babes, you are going to be the cutest mommy I know.” Olivia whispers as she keeps her distance, “Thank you,” I smile before pulling her into a hug “You and Chelsea have this spilling-the-beans problem in common you know? But that doesn’t mean I’d resent you for it.” I reassure her, she squeezes my shoulders before letting go “You have the kindest heart.”

“True, it’s one of my favorite things about her.” Bobby chimes in, pulling me into his body “If I see more of this cuteness, I’ll end up vomiting.” She rolls her eyes playfully. “Good night!” she yells as she makes her way to the car. 

As soon as the door closes, Bobby engulfs me in a bear hug “You up for some baking therapy?” he suggests, planting a kiss onto my forehead. “Only if you are.” I whisper against his shirt.“Oh I definitely am.” he chuckles before leading me to the kitchen.

** *** **

** Two weeks later - 2nd October 2019  **

** 1:13 PM **

** Marquina Public Relations **

“Hey boss.” I peak through the half open door. “I’ve got the designs ready for the pitch, would you like to get a look at them?” I swing the folder for Serena Marquina, my boss and most importantly, my best friend to see. “Uh, sure.” She smiles and motions for me to come in. “Raven, as your best friend and boss, I’d like for you to reconsider my offer. You look tired.” Serena frowns as her green eyes study my face “I’m fine babes, nothing to worry about.” I smile, “It’s normal to look like this when you feel like vomiting all day.” Serena squints her eyes at my semi sarcastic comment “How did your mother take it? You never told me.” The small smile I had plastered disappears as the distraction from that subject was now set aside. 

“Worse than I expected.” I huffed, “She was so mad, spitting out shit no one should say to their children. Something along the lines of‘ _Oh, I wish my mother allowed me to get an abortion.’_ ” I chuckle ironically. “I don’t really want to revisit that, the conclusion is that she gave me an ultimatum. I either get an abortion, or get married” 

“What the fuck?” Serena’s jaw drops. “Why is she _that_ mad?” Serena quickly waves off her own comment “Scratch that, no parent on earth should say that, no matter what!” I nod then shrug “Well, my mother doesn’t believe that.” Serena gives me an apologetic look, “Anyway, here are the designs, thought I’d bring them before heading out.” Serena nods as she takes the files from my hand. “Have fun, and take care of yourself babes.” I smile “Thank you. Call me if you need anything.” She shakes her head, “I won’t, I’m the boss.” She smirks. “Wipe that cocky smile off.” I snicker before waving her goodbye.

As I hop in my car, I dial Bobby’s number and begin driving. “Hey Rave,” he answers, “Hey, give me the good news.” I sigh, excited to know if he landed the job. “Uh, well I got the sous-chef position.” He sighs, disappointed. “I’m sorry, baby. Is it because the baker position is filled already?” 

“Yes, the head-chef is the baker.” He huffs “Though I’m not entirely upset that I’d be helping him and training under his supervision, the job does pay well. But, I just wanted to be free to create and try new pastries” He whispers “It’s okay to be upset, don’t hold back. I know I would be if I was as talented and passionate as you are, and people didn’t see that.” He chuckles “You’re cute.” I smile “I’ll be home in a few hours, I can make your favorite meal, and we’ll talk about this at dinner?” 

“Spaghetti hoops on toast for dinner? Can never say no to that!” I grin, satisfied to hear the excitement in his voice again. “Knew it, I’ll see you soon. I love you.” I smile. “I love you too!” Bobby replies before hanging up.

A few minutes later, I park and hop out, looking around for the girls while walking towards my table. “You’re late, again” Lottie teases as I go in for a hug “I’m sorry, had to submit the final designs for work.” I turn to Chelsea “Hey Chels!” she squeals and hugs me “I missed you, babes!” drawing back and taking a seat I reply “I missed you guys too! So, how’s everything?” Chelsea sighs before leaning forward “Good! Henrik and I just came back from a weekend with his family in Sweden. It was great! I never knew why he enjoyed climbing until I tried it with him. Though I’d say it was very exhausting.” I grin “I knew you’d like it. It’s a great exercise for someone with lots of energy.”

Turning my attention to Lottie, I ask “How about you and Gary? How is he taking the news of your move to the States?” she frowns “Not well, he’s pretty upset.” She sighs, “I mean, I understand why, but this is the opportunity of my life. And our relationship was always going to face this kind of test considering I live in Melbourne.” Lottie shrugs “I don’t want to bum you two out with that. We’ll be okay, I’m sure of it.” She smiles “You though, you look tired and pale. You okay?” I huff before nodding “Uh yeah.” I mumble “Just pregnant.” Chelsea screams, attracting everyones attention to us. “Are you serious?” Lottie asks, clearly baffled. I nod “How far along?”

“Nine weeks.” I reply, Chelsea squeals “Oh I’m so happy for you!” she takes my hand and squeezes it in hers “Did you tell Bobby yet?” I nod “Same day I was sure of it, I informed him.”

“He wasn’t happy?” Lottie asks and I shrug “He wasn’t mad either. We were both incredibly shocked, but he did become quite and distant. I don’t blame him, it’s too early into the relationship, we’re both working hard to achieve our career goals, especially him with the bakery project on his mind.” I huffed, feeling the stress taking a toll on me again. “We’re struggling to find a nice place for it, and I get fucking pregnant!” 

“Babes, abortion is always an option.” Lottie whispers, “Lottie! You can’t say that!” Chelsea elbows Lottie. “Why not? It seems they both don’t want to have a kid now, and the circumstances don’t really allow it. Right?” I bite my lip “I-I don’t know…” Lottie and Chelsea both raise an eyebrow at my remark “You don’t want the baby?” Chelsea asks, “Well, I do and I don’t at the same time.” I shrug “As Lottie was saying, the circumstances don’t allow, the stress of this could destroy us, and that scares me more than anything. We’re not mentally or emotionally ready for the baby.”

“How come?” Chelsea looks confused “You two always talked about wanting kids together, and you excelled in that baby challenge!” she exclaims. “Babes, at that time, Bobby didn’t have a business to give up, it was just a doll that doesn’t need actually nappies and real life doesn’t work like that. Lottie nods “This also means Bobby would need to push his business aside for god knows how long. Though I offered to help with my share but he’s too stubborn. Besides, I’m at the top of my game at work, taking a maternity leave now would just ruin my chances for a promotion.” 

“Also, this pregnancy thing, is not easy at all! You could probably tell how shitty I look. I’m sick all the damn time, I cannot eat anything without vomiting, I’m always dizzy and above that I feel emotional in ways I’ve never experienced before. This pregnancy, is like the stomach flu and food poisoning’s love child for god’s sake!” 

“Abortion, babes.” Lottie repeats, patting my shoulder.“To make matters worse, when my mom found out, she freaked out.She did not hold back at all and gave me an ultimatum, I either have this kid and lose her, or kill this kid and keep her in my life. Only loophole is if I get married to Bobby as soon as possible. “No way.” Chelsea gasps “Oh, _way._ I chuckle, she went on about how Bobby would leave me if I didn’t marry him in the next three months, and how people would look down on me for having a child out of wedlock.” 

“I’m sorry,” Chelsea frowns “Yeah, that’s proper harsh.” Lottie sighs “What does Bobby think though? Surely this is a decision you need to make together.” I sigh, knowing Bobby still wants us to have this baby. “Well, I think he still wants the baby. After my first ultrasound he seemed excited for this baby. He even went looking for an extra job so he’d handle it all.” 

“That is so responsible and cute.” Chelsea grins “It is, but then again, this is Bobby we’re talking about. He’s always been the sweetest. Our girl right here lucked out with him.” Lottie nudges me “That’s very true, but I’m worried that I’d be adding more stress with this. I don’t want him to fully handle this on his own, but he insists that he wants to let me sit back and take care of myself.” 

“I mean we’ve all seen how well he handles stressful situations.” Lottie whispers “Yes, but the villa was different. All we had to worry about back then is coupling with the one we want and staying on the show.” I signal for a waiter, in dire need of water “I don’t mean to say that he’s a total wack job, no he’s beyond amazing, but ever since I was a teenager, I’ve had this fear that I’ll be abandoned once my relationships get serious, it happened with many previous boyfriends, and I know Bobby is not like that.”

“But?” 

The waiter comes over to us and we focus on ordering our lunch. I end up ordering something healthy, even though I wanted nothing but water and something sweet.

“But, I wouldn’t exactly blame him for freaking out…” I mumble as soon as the waiter is out of earshot.“Give him more credit, Raven.” Chelsea whispers “He loves you and would never abandon you, especially not now.” I nod “I know, but my anxiety always screams _‘what if he does?’_ and sometimes, when it’s taking over me, I cannot ignore it as much as I’d like. I hate it. I’ve always had it, and now it’s worse with the pregnancy.” I bite my lip “You should talk to him then.” Lottie suggests “About my anxiety?” both Lottie and Chelsea nod. “It’s probably for the best, but I don’t want him to worry about me, well, more than he already does.” 

“How did his parents take the news?” 

“They were very calm and mature about it. His dad wasn’t too thrilled but he didn’t throw a tantrum.” I scoff.“His mother was incredibly supportive, and was very kind to me. Both of his parents have always been so kind to me.” I smile, grateful for the support Bobby and I have. “Enough of this, tell me Chels, how’s business?” 

** *** **

** 5:55 PM **

** Bobby and Raven's residence **

I fumble with the keys as I ran towards the front door, my stomach somersaulting and clenching hard. I cupped my mouth and turned the key quickly, pushing the door open and rushing in towards the bathroom. 

_When does this crap stop?_

_Does it have to be this intense and constant?_

Goosebumps form quickly as I puke, crying out from the harsh burn on my throat. Seconds later and after emptying my lunch out, I stand before the mirror, eyes wide at the horrid reflection I was seeing. My cheeks were hollow, the circles underneath my eyes darker than before; I looked dead. Now I know why everyone kept mentioning how tired and pale I looked. Huffing, I brush my teeth, wash my face and head out to distract myself with chores, even though I was pretty nauseous. 

Around two hours later, I stand behind the kitchen island finishing up dinner, satisfied with my productivity in spite of feeling like utter crap. As I set the table, Bobby walks in “Rave, I’m home.” he looks up “Hey you,” he smiles as he approaches me, I grin back before greeting him with s soft peck on his lips “What a lovely surprise, what’s the occasion?” he refers to dinner, chuckling, I playfully shove him away “No touching unless you’ve washed those hands.” he wiggles his fingers over the toast “Not even a bite?” he pouts “Nope” I slap his palm, pointing in the bathroom’s direction with the other hand. He rolls his eyes before trudging towards the bathroom. 

“How was your lunch with Lottie and Chelsea?” 

“Uh, good. Lottie’s getting ready to move to the States, and while she’s excited, she’s also worried that this is putting a strain on her and Gary.” 

“It is.” Bobby emerges from the bathroom “I was talking to Gary a few days ago, and the subject came up. He’s incredibly upset that the chances of them working it out is slim to none, but he still supports her and wants nothing but the best.” He shrugs as he sits across me “I understand where he’s coming from. If it were you, I would be terrified that we might not be together, that something could potentially ruin our relationship before we even get to live through it.” Bobby frowns, “It’s something I’ve been thinking about all the time back in the villa.” 

“Do you still think about it now?” I whisper “Yes, it’s a constant thought.” I reach over the table and take his hand in mine, “Is anything causing you to think about it, now that we’re living together?” his thumb gently rubs my palm.“Not at all. It’s just my mind’s way of messing with me.” He shakes his head, picking at his salad. “I’m sorry, let’s change the subject.” He looks up at me with a small smile. “Don’t be.” I squeeze his palm, “How was your first day at the new restaurant?” 

“Pretty good. Every one was nice and somewhat excited that there’s an addition to the team.” He whispers after taking in a bite of his food “What was somewhat concerning for me,” he mumbles, his mouth full “Is that I was told that the head chef, Emilio, is somewhat a hot-headed and cocky person to work with, and he could get aggressive with his words. But that’s not the bad part, you do meet his kind wherever you work, but this time he’s the owner’s cousin, and he’s basically flawless in the owner’s eyes.” Bobby finishes then takes another bite of his toast “I don’t know why I’m so worried, but for some reason I keep thinking about the possibilities of that man messing with me because he wanted things his way or, something.” 

“It’s normal to worry babe, you just started working there and with someone like Emilio over your head, you’re not being paranoid.” I smile “I think you’ll do great there, impressing the staff with your talents and witty personality. Not to mention, you’d definitely be the peace maker in the kitchen.” Bobby grins, bits of his food stuck on his teeth. He swallows before replying “Have I told you how adorable you are?” I shrug playfully “I may have heard you say it a few times.” He brings my palm to his lips, planting a kiss on my skin and leaving a red stain from the sauce. “Bobby!” I whine, causing him to chuckle “Sorry,” I grin before copying him, but instead of one kiss, I trail a few more kisses “Right back atcha!” 

“Copycat” He grumbles

“You’re just upset I stained you.” I smirk “Baby, you may stain me anytime you’d like.” I chuckle before forcefully taking a small bite. “By the way, my grandparents invited us over this weekend for some BBQ.” 

“That sounds lovely.” I nod “I’m guessing they know about the baby, but they’re pretending not to so we could deliver the news.” Bobby smiles “That’s nice of them. It sure is a better way to find out rather than barge in on us at midnight.” I chuckle “Well, they probably heard from mom.” 

“Speaking of your mom, she called me today.” Bobby whispers cautiously. I clench my jaw, but try to keep my cool. “What did she want?” I ask, trying my hardest not to look angry. Bobby seems to see my attempt, because he smiles and takes my hand again in his “Don’t worry yourself, Lass. She called to apologize.” My eyes widen. “She said she didn’t mean to be rude to me, and put the blame on me.” He shrugs “Then she went on, about how she’s sure that I would never abandon you, because I’m such a good boyfriend.” Bobby smiles cheekily “Her words, not mine” he shrugs. I chuckle “You’re a perfect boyfriend.” I correct him “Thank you, Lass.” He juts his chin confidently, but then chuckles “No but in all seriousness, I think she was also apologizing to you as well, in a way.” 

“How? I haven’t heard from her.” My tone was dripping with sarcasm. “Well, she was apologizing through me, I guess?” Bobby suggests “That’s incredibly sweet of her, isn’t it?” I roll my eyes, annoyance clear in my tone. “She’s so prideful!” I huffed, shoving my plate away “I’m her only daughter, and she attacks me in the name of love and protection. To make matters worse, she wishes I never existed, then apologizes about it to my boyfriend instead of me!” I laugh at the irony, pushing my chair back and standing up. 

“I swear her attempts are pathetic.” I mumble as I pick up my plate and walk towards the kitchen. I was livid, but I ignore the tears that blurred my vision, blinking them away as I put the food away in the fridge. Bobby picks a few things off the table, then puts them away before approaching me as I wash up the dirty dishes. His lips leave soft kisses on my neck “You have every right to be pissed, but why don’t you try and talk to her?” Bobby whispers, resting his chin on my shoulder, his palm gently rubbing over my belly. “I can’t. If certain things weren’t said, I might’ve taken the high road and called her today, but the fact that she said those hurtful words to my face, then didn’t bother to even text me an apology?” I mumble, feeling the tears rolling down my cheeks. “I know baby, but she’s family and I know you need her, especially now.” He adds, planting another soft kiss to my cheek. 

I turn off the faucet and sniffle, “I do, but she just pushed me over my own limit.” I turn around to face him “If only she hadn’t gone berserk, this would be a lot easier on me.” Bobby’s soft thumbs wipe off my tears, replacing them with a lingering kiss on each cheek “She loves you, you know? And she wants you to know it, but she probably has no idea how to confess that.” 

“Does she though? I don’t want to sound like a total bitch, but I’ve always doubted the way she feels about me because of her actions, or lack off.” I whisper, “I really think you should sit down and have a serious conversation with her. It won’t be easy, but once you let those emotions and thoughts out, you’ll feel better no matter what the outcome is.” He suggests, his thumb resting over my chin. “I’ll try.” I sigh, even though the thought of doing it makes me angry, he was right. “Sorry about that” I chuckle, wiping my cheek “My hormones are all over the place.” 

“Is Janis giving you a hard time?” he coos, kneeling down to my abdomen’s level. I chuckle “Babe, she’s not kicking yet.” I giggle “So we’re agreeing that it’s a Janis?” he grins widely as our eyes meet “Well, I’ve read that girls give the mother a hard time during the pregnancy more than boys? But I’m not sure.” Bobby smiles before planting a kiss on my belly “To me, it’s more of a feeling. Janis is going to be such a troublemaker, she’s already giving her mother a hard time.” He whispers before standing up. I giggle, caressing his cheeks “You are sickeningly adorable, d’know that?” Bobby pouts “I’m not adorable! I’m a man.” 

“An adorable man.” I rephrase before trailing kisses all over his face, wrapping my arms around his neck , tracing a line slowly as I press a slow kiss on the corner of his lips. “Raven” he whimpers in a low voice. “Race ya to the bedroom?” I grin suggestively. “Loser gets to be the big spoon?” he suggests, raising an eyebrow. “Deal.” I chuckle, “Even though spooning isn’t exactly what I had in mind.”I wink, slipping away from his arms and sashaying my way to the room. “Oh, you can forget about the race then!” I hear Bobby’s excitement as he ran towards me, he then picks me up and runs towards our bedroom. Giggling, I kiss his neck “Babe, slow down, I’ll end up puking dinner all over both of us.” I joke but he slows his pace anyway.

As we reach the bed, Bobby sits down, his eyes never leaving mine. I turn to face him, wrapping my legs around his waist.“You’re so beautiful, Raven.” He whispers before trailing lingering kisses from my jaw to my neck, while his fingers trace lines up and down my thigh “No words can ever begin to describe how much I adore you.” He mumbles against my collar bones, before bringing our lips together in a slow passionate kiss. With my arms around his neck, I run my fingers through his hair slowly, earning a soft moan from him, he glides his tongue over my bottom lip and I quickly part my lips, already surrendering to him as the kiss now becomes urgent and lustful. My fingers grab a fistful of his hair as he gently nibbles on my bottom lip, his palms now resting on my butt, lightly squeezing. I pin our bodies together, pressing my breasts against his chest while rolling my hips against him “Fuck” I mumble as I feel something hard pressing against my thigh.

Breaking from the kiss, Bobby’s lips were red and a little swollen as he smirks. My heartbeat picks up the pace, a strange feeling forming in my abdomen as I playfully push him down on the mattress, his eyes darken with lust as I straddle his waist and lean down to kiss his jawline slowly, his palms squeezing my ass harder. Once I reach his weak spot, I teasingly bite the skin, my hands taking his off of my butt, and holding them hostage over his head “Stay right there,” I mumble, leaning back to look at him just in time as he pouts “You’re playing dirty now, Lass.” I smirk “I know you’re loving this, don’t hide it.” I lean down to his neck and begin to slowly suck the skin, making sure to leave a mark. I moan as I feel the weird sensation in my stomach, but ignore it and continue to kiss down Bobby’s neck, earning raspy groans of my name from his precious lips. 

My lips trail every inch of his skin with lingering, hot kisses, but as I get to his chest, a sharp pain knocks the air out of my lungs and I whimper, but I regain my composure and continue to tease my man, who was becoming a hot mess underneath me. I lean back for air, and almost immediately, Bobby flips me so now he’s hovering above me with a devilish grin “My turn.” I bite my lip, ignoring the horrid feeling in my abdomen. Bobby slips my tank top off, before leaning down to plant kisses on my jaw, trailing them all the way to my lips before stopping, our noses touch as he whispers “How long do you think you can go without kissing me, Lass?” 

“You’d be surprised.” I smirk. “We’ll see about that, gorgeous.” He grins, leaning closer and nibbling on my bottom lip, before moving forward down to my chest, his lips leaving kisses between my breasts as he slowly pulls down my bra straps, his hands move to my back and he unhooks it, tossing it aside quickly.I felt another cramp interrupt the moment, but decided to ignore it once again. 

I inhaled sharply as Bobby slips his free hand between my legs, arching my back as he rubs my vagina through my clothes, causing a weak moan to escape my lips. Bobby bites his lip as he watches me whimper how much I want him already, “Not yet baby.” He plants a soft kiss to the side of my left breast, his hands now teasingly slipping my shorts down while his lips mark my chest. “Bobby, please” I beg softly, patience long gone. “What do you want, my love?” he asks, leaning back after planting kisses and biting my breasts.“You” I bite my lip, tracing his abs with my nails, “The lady shall get what she wants.” He winks before going down and planting a few teasing kisses on my right thigh. I rest my head on the bed, sighing at the warmth of his lips. 

Bobby’s body tenses between my legs, “B-Babe…” he whispers shakily. “You’re bleeding.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey! Sorry this took a while, but I had to plan the whole chapter out before writing.
> 
> I'd like to thank some of the sweetest people I've met, Maja and Dorina, who were supportive of this work and encouraged me to post it. Thank you guys ♥️
> 
> Let me know what you think? :)   
>  (this is not finished yet. One or two more parts to come!)


	3. Too little, too late.

**9:45 PM**

**Ridgeview Hospital**

Despite the doctor mentioning that the baby is alive and well, Bobby was anxious, I could tell. His leg wouldn’t stop bouncing, his fingers fidget with his shirt and he was extremely quiet. As we both wait for the doctor to come back, his eyes were focused on the image of our baby on the ultrasound machine, a worried look evident on his face. “Bobby,” His head snaps in my direction, “Yes?” I reach for his hand and give it a gentle squeeze “We’re fine. You heard the doctor.” Bobby gives me a small smile and nods. “Well,” the doctor walks back in, “While the spotting should be normal in an early pregnancy, I’ve noticed over here” he points to the ultrasound “That you have a subchorionic hematoma.” Bobby furrows his eyebrows “W-What is that?”

“It’s a pool of blood between Raven’s uterus and placenta. It could be fine, but it might cause a miscarriage.”

“And is this bleeding normal? Or is it because of the subchorionic hematoma?” Bobby asks “While it’s hard to figure out why Raven bled, we do have to keep this monitored.” The doctor’s attention is on me now “You said you’ve experienced a few cramps?” I nod “They were somewhat like period cramps, but nothing unusual.” Doctor Ryan purses his lips and nods “Okay, this means Raven is on bedrest form now and until her hematoma is fixed. She cannot get up unless it’s extremely necessary. That also means she’s on pelvic rest, it would be safer to hold it with the intimacy until we make sure the problem is solved.”

“Are there any medications she’ll need? And if there are, can they negatively affect the baby?” I can barely understand a word coming out of Bobby’s mouth. “Bobby, easy baby.” I squeeze his hand and he sighs. “No, there will be no need for any medication. The only way we can make sure Raven’s pregnancy is healthy, is by taking my advice.”

“I don’t do bedrest, Doctor, I can’t.” I shake my head. Bedrest would mean no work, and sitting home all day in bed doesn’t sound too ideal for me. “I’m afraid we don’t have options if we want to insure your baby’s health.”

“But we’re not even sure if it’s the hematoma causing the bleeding.” Bobby glances up at me “Lass, we’re not taking that risk.” I huff “Well, if I can’t move then how am I going to go on about my day like a normal person?”

“I’ll stay with you and take-” Bobby begins but I cut him off “Absolutely fucking not! You’re not leaving your job for me.”

“Raven, this is non-”

“May I suggest something?” Bobby and I turn our attention to the doctor, who now stands behind a wheelchair “Raven’s bedrest begins now, so this chair should help her get around easily.” I till my head to the side “Doc, it’s not that serious, is it?”

“Afraid it is.”

*******

**Two days later - 4th October 2019**

**6:09 AM**

**Bobby and Raven’s residence.**

The morning light breaks into our bedroom slowly, indicating that I have stayed up for too long; it’s not like I’ve been sleeping that well the past few days anyway. A soft murmur slips from Bobby, who stirs a little behind me. Sighing, I turn around, finally deciding to change from staring at the ceiling, and instead, watching Bobby furrow his eyebrows in his sleep.Having to stay in bed all the time is a pain, but watching Bobby become incredibly quiet and protective was worse, he seemed even more stressed now that I was at risk of losing our baby and that got me worried about his health. “Raven, bedrest!” he mumbles, before shuffling closer, his head now resting on my chest. I gently rub his back and plant a kiss on his forehead, zoning off once again as I stare at the canary walls. This pregnancy is just getting worse by the minute, and I’m not entirely sure I’m mentally ready for more surprises.

_What if we decided while we were emotionally overwhelmed?_

_We did take that decision literally the next day after finding out, was that time enough to consider the pros and cons?_

_Are we really up to it? What if this breaks Bobby and I apart?_

_The pressure just might cause us to fight constantly, or just grow distant, and I am not excited about either._

Winning the show with him and getting to test our relationship was exciting and scary, but now that we are actually being tested, it’s more terrifying than I’ll ever anticipate.

_I finally find somebody I see a future with, and this happens._

I close my eyes in attempt to shut my thoughts off and sleep, and thankfully I finally feel exhausted enough to sleep.

*******

“Lass? You should wake up and eat something.” I slowly open my eyes to a very bright room.

Is it too sunny today?

“I want to sleep.” I whine, I then feel Bobby placing the breakfast table in front of me “Raven, you haven’t been eating that well.” He whispers, his tone filled with nothing but worry. Sitting up, I glance at the clock “Shit, I overslept.”

“Lass, you’re on bedrest. You’re more than welcome to oversleep.” I chuckle “Funny, but today is Sunday and we have that lunch with my grandparents.”

“Oh, well, do you reckon we should cancel? You’re not allowed to leave the bed let alone the house.” Bobby suggests as I drink my juice “Babe, I’ll be fine. I’ll take my wheelchair with me.”

“What if you bleed? Hm? Are you willing to take that risk?”

“I won’t bleed from moving from the wheel chair to the car seat and vice versa.”

“Raven, I’m not sure. Let’s just have them come over instead. I’ll cook.” Bobby pleads, hisgaze soft and desperate. “I know you’re worried about me, but I swear I’ll be fine.” I smile reassuringly “Besides, I’m bored and I want a change of scenery. Please.” I pout, knowing it would convince Bobby. He eyes me carefully, narrowing his eyes slowly “Raven.”

“Bobby.” I bat my eyelashes. “Fine, but if you feel any discomfort, we’re leaving.” He caves in and I grin “Thank you!” Bobby playfully rolls his eyes before picking up the Nutella toast and feeding me “Can we not mention my current situation?”

“Once they see your chair they’d know something’s up. Besides, don’t they have the right to know?” he replies, before taking a bite of his toast. Of course he was going to say that, he was selfless and he cared about the people around him. “Yes, they have that right, but I don’t want my grandparents to worry. You know, my grandfather is someone who is constantly worried.”

“You’re not thinking of using the chair just until we get to the house, are you?” Bobby eyes me “Because I only agreed on us going if you’re using it the whole time.” I huff, “Walking towards their couch won’t necessarily do anything, right?” Bobby shakes his head, moving the now empty table aside “Lass, the doctor said you’re only allowed to move when you absolutely need to. So yes, walking could kill our baby.”

“My god” I huff again and lie back down on the mattress, “This pregnancy has been nothing but stressful and a pain in the arse.” Seconds later, I feel Bobby slide next to me, his head laying gently on my stomach “I don’t know anything about it, but my mother told me that when she was pregnant with Liv, she didn’t have a fun time either.” He whispers, tracing circles on my thigh. I giggle, threading my fingers through his hair“Are you saying we’re having a girl?”

“Maybe? I’m not sure but, from what I’ve gathered, the first trimester is always tricky and exhausting.” I smile, recalling the times I’ve caught him reading pregnancy articles and whether morning sickness only happens in the morning, and if it does, is it normal?

I must admit, it was adorable that he was doing his research. “Oh I know, I’ve seen you reading those articles” His lips leave a soft kiss on my stomach before he looks up “I should educated myself on it, after all we are starting a family soon.” I nod with a small smile, but couldn’t help the anxious thoughts running through my mind.

***

“You okay, Lass?” Bobby asks as he wheels me towards the backyard garden. He seemed to notice how I sigh and huff every five-seconds or fidget nervously. “I’m fine. Just nervous, my mom might be here and I’m not sure I’m ready to see her again.”

“I know, but it would be good if you two talked things through.” He suggests and before I could reply, we reach the backyard “Oh wow something smells amazing.” Bobby announces. I nervously breathe in when I see my mother and my grandfather standing in front of the grill. “You two finally made it!” My grandfather smiles, but frowns immediately at the sight of me in the chair “What happened?!”

My mother turns around and her eyes widen “Raven?”. Before I can say anything, my mother ran up to me and engulfed me in a quick hug. “Oh honey, you okay?” she eyes me up and down “I’m fine, mom.” I force a smile, before wheeling myself away. “Raven is on bedrest.” Bobby explains as they all walk back to their places. “Where’s grandma?” I ask, doing my best to ignore the awkwardness between my mother and I. “She’s taking care of dessert.” Bobby glances at me before saying ,“I’ll go and see if she needs help.” He leans down and gives me a soft kiss “This is your chance to talk to your mom,” and then he vanishes.“Darling, you sure you’re okay?” my grandfather seemed concerned, “Yes, don’t worry. I just have a subchorionic hematoma, it is a pool of blood between my uterus and placenta. It could lead to miscarriage.” I huff “That’s why I’m on bedrest.” my mother’s concern quickly turns into anger “So this child is a danger to you.”

As childish as it may sound, I didn’t want to speak to her at all. “Aileana, do not start.” My grandfather warns, and that was enough for my mother to keep quiet. I send him a grateful smile, before he goes back to grilling the meat. Seconds later, my grandmother emerges from the kitchen, “Oh sweetheart” she whispers, taking a seat next to me “Why didn’t you tell us? We would’ve come over instead.”

“I suggested that, but your stubborn granddaughter wouldn’t settle for anything.” Bobby jokes as he places the plates on the table. “I didn’t want to even say anything because this is a common condition, and once I’m finished with the first trimester, the hematoma would’ve fixed itself.” I shrug.“And it is boring as hell to do nothing but lie in bed. I wanted a change of scenery.”

Bobby stands behind me, “She did promise me, that we’d go home if she felt a wee bit uncomfortable.” I look up at him and kiss his cheek “Yes, but I’m fine.” I say for what feels like the hundredth time. “Onto more exciting things, have you thought of names?” my grandmother asks with a wide smile as she places the food on the table, causing me to grin back “We’re not too sure about a certain name, we’re waiting to find out the sex first.” I whisper, “And according to Bobby, we might be expecting a girl.” Bobby’s cheeks flush bright pink “I just read that in a few articles.” He mumbles before focusing on his plate. “It’s not necessarily true.” My mother interjects.

_She just had to say that._

“Well, either way,it’s adorable that my Bobby cares enough to read those articles.” A smug smile forms on my face as I lightly trace his neck. “Uh, when my mother was pregnant with Olivia she also suffered a little.” Bobby’s genuine smile is now replaced with a nervous one. “Well, Raven’s pregnancy is different, perhaps this baby is the devil itself and must be removed.” My mother retorts in a venomous tone. I almost choke on my water at hearing that, “My baby is not a fucking tumor for you to suggest ‘removing it”. Anger was bubbling inside me, her snide comments and tone getting to me as always. “And if you’re spending the remaining of this lunch making rude comments towards Bobby and I, we’d like to know because I didn’t not come here for that.”

“Raven, pick your words very carefully. You’re talking to your mother.” She warns, her jaw clenched. “You could’ve fooled me. A mother wouldn’t exactly tell her daughter she wished she killed her.”

“Aileana,” my grandmother gasps. “Lass, please,” Bobby pleads, his hand gently rubbing my back. “Why are you here anyway? I thought you disowned me.” I add with a sarcastic smile “Or do you enjoy making my life miserable?”

“Raven, that is enough!”

“I can’t decide which is worse, you talking about your own grandchild that way, disowning me for being fucking pregnant and actually having the baby father present who is thrilled to start a family, or wishing I was killed before birth.”

“You reckon I have a choice? I’m looking out for you!”

“You want to know what I think? I think you’re jealous.” I could see her face twist at the sour comeback. I admit, it was too much but she had it coming. “How exactly are you looking out for me?”

“Raven you’re not ready for a child! Neither one of you are.” She snaps “You two barely know each other for God’s sake!”

“I will not go through the same experience as yours.” I huff “Bobby and I aren’t like you and my father; we love each other. ”

“Well congratu-fucking-lations!” she stands up quickly, knocking over her chair “You think love will get you anywhere? Him loving you isn’t shite, Raven!” she barks, but I ignore her and turn to Bobby “Can we leave?” and he nods almost immediately. “Christian loved you, didn’t he? And yet, he went on and shagged other women.”

“Stop! Just stop bringing up the past!” I growl, “I do not wish to continue this fight.” I turn to my grandparents and force a smile “I’m sorry, but we must go. The food was lovely, thank you.” I push myself away from the table, almost knocking myself into the fountain, Bobby quickly stands up and grips my chair “Easy, I got it.”.

As Bobby and I head towards the car, I can hear my grandparents fighting with my mother, the anger tears finally fall, but I quickly wipe them “I shouldn’t have come here, you were right.” I sigh “Instead of winding down and having a nice lunch, all I got was stress and shade thrown at me.” Bobby doesn’t respond, all he does is sigh out loud before helping me get in the car.

The silence carries on the entire ride home, and I was glad I didn’t have to say anything, but once we were inside the house, Bobby’s silence was scaring me. “You look angry.” Is all I can say as I change into something comfy. “Well, all that could’ve been avoided.” He huffs, his eyes avoiding mine “What do you mean?”

“You didn’t need to defend me.” Bobby mumbles as he looks for something in the closet. “I won’t let her shade you like that. What are you talking about?” I furrow my eyebrows in confusion. “I’m talking about avoiding the fight, Raven. I can handle my own, and I know she didn’t mean anything bad. She was just angry.”He turns to face me. “Are you serious? Of course she meant it in a bad way.”

“She cares about you, that’s why she’s angry, she just doesn’t know how to handle it.” Bobby whispers as he unbuttons his shirt. “My mother never loved me, Bobby. She’s been this angry ever since conceiving me.” I chuckle unamused, watching him face the closet again, avoiding my gaze “We still could’ve had a nice lunch today. I didn’t want you to stress yourself out.” He shrugs as he slips on his shorts.

“You know she’s the one who started it,”

“Yes, but you could’ve let bygones be bygones, Raven.” Bobby exhales, as he walks over to the bed, sitting across me. “Bobby, fights happen, no matter how much you want to avoid them.”

“You weren’t the nicest either, and you know it.” I did know, but I am too stubborn to admit it. “I’m not against you, Raven. I’m upset because I wanted this lunch to be a chance for you two to make amends.”

“She brought up Christian! She actually compared us to that toxic so called relationship.”

“Raven, she said it out of anger.” _That’s hard to believe._ “I don’t get why we’re arguing over this.” I chuckle “Raven, you know I hate drama, specially one involving family.”

“I do too, but it’s nobody’s fault but my mother’s that she’s this way. She could have easily been polite this time. I thought she’d see me this way and think for one-second ‘hmm, perhaps I should be there for my daughter and put my selfish opinions aside.’ But she didn’t. All she cares about is her image, Bobby. She’s angry because she’s worried about what people are going to say. If she actually cared about my health, about my happiness, this entire fight with her wouldn’t happen.”

Bobby glances up at me, then his gaze falls to the floor. He looked speechless, like he was fighting to find the right words but is failing. _He’s shutting off._

“I’ll go make something quick for us to eat.” He whispers after what felt like the longest silence.

“I don’t want to fucking eat, we need to finish this conversation Bobby.” He looks up at me, and I could tell from the dullness in his eyes, that he was putting up his walls, doing his best to end the argument before we end up fighting “I won’t be long” He mumbles before leaving the room.

_Great, just great._

I exhale and cover my head with the duvet. I knew Bobby needed the excuse to gather his thoughts, to steer clear from fighting with me but I couldn’t help feeling like shite. He was right, I wasn’t nice and I could’ve just ignored my mother’s comments, but I grew tired of keeping my mouth shut. I had to put my foot down.

_Well,that attempt got you nowhere._

I close my eyes, taking a deep breath and reminisce about the good days back in the Villa, before all the stress got to me.

**

**_“You sure about this? I don’t want to step on anyone’s toes.” He whispers, I swim towards Bobby, who was floating in the corner of the pool, away from the cameras. “Like who, Henrik?” I mumble, my eyes too busy watching his lips “He’s with Blake now, and he knows that someone else has my heart.” I add,“Unless you’ve taken interest in someone else.” I tease, our chests are now almost pressed up against each other. “N-no, not all!” he quickly denies, his eyes traveling down to my lips. “Good, because I still want us to work things out.”_ **

**_“You do?”_ **

**_“Just because Henrik snatched me then I got whisked away to Casa Hell, doesn’t mean that I’ve forgotten all about you, or lost my feelings.” I slowly lean closer, “If anything, being away helped me collect my thoughts.”Bobby nervously inhales at my proximity, “It did the opposite to me. I was a mess, I couldn’t stop thinking about you.” He whispers, I wrap my arms around his shoulders, my fingers aching to play with his hair “So, not one single weather girl turned your head?”_ **

**_“No.” he was confident as he answers me with a smile, “Not even Blake? She said she was interested when she arrived.”Bobby places his palms on my hips. “I hardly believe that, she just said that because she’s trying to be you.” He whispers “I meant what I said before you left.”_ **

**_“About walking straight out after me?” he nods then opens his mouth to say something, but I cut him off “Can I kiss you?”._ **

**_“Please do.” He grins, before I bring our lips together in a slow, burning kiss. My insides ignite with fire, the feeling of his lips finally on mine was one I’d never get tired of. Bobby pulls me closer, our chests now pinned against each other as he impatiently deepens the kiss. Nibbling on his bottom lip, I trace his neckline with my nails. “Fuck,” he groans, his hands traveling down to my ass, giving it a gentled squeeze. “I missed this.” He mumbles, leaving my lips now to plant wet kisses onto my neck. “Bobby,” I sigh, he murmurs my name against my skin, “I don’t want us to ever go to bed upset with each other.” Bobby gently bites my neck before leaning back “What do you mean?”_ **

**_“I mean… if we were to survive outside the Villa, I want us to solve any issue we have together. We don’t go to bed while being upset with each other, ever.”_ **

**_“Sounds like you’re confident that we will survive past the Villa.” He jokes, stealing a quick kiss “I’m serious.” I giggle “I know it’s hard for you to communicate how you feel, but I want us to do this relationship thing the right way.”_ **

**_“I want us to do that too.” He smiles, causing my insides to melt “But what brought this up, Lass?” I blush at the nickname “Well, I had to practically push you to do this with me.” I refer to our alone time in the pool. Bobby chuckles, before kissing the tip of my nose “I know I can be a pain in the arse, but it’s because I’m more of a showing type of lad than telling?”_ **

**_“Oh, and how are you planning on showing me how sure you are of us?”_ **

**_“You’d have to wait and see.” He winks “Want to share a bed? It gets lonely at night.” Bobby pouts, as if I needed convincing “Only if I get to spoon your cute butt.” Bobby laughs “Deal.”_ **

**_Smiling, I lean in and steal a kiss or two, happy to have Bobby back even if we weren’t coupled up yet._ **

**

It had been only an hour since Bobby walked out, but I couldn’t wait any longer. I pushed the duvet off of me, swinging my legs to the side of the bed, but before I could get up Bobby returns with a tray in hand. “Where were you going?” he whispers as he walks closer. “I’m sorry.” I mumble “You were right, I wasn’t nice and I guess I could’ve dealt with my mother differently.”Bobby places the tray down on the night stand, and sits across me, he sighs, “I’m sorry, too.” I glance down at my lap “I’m afraid that this is putting a strain on us, that’s why I was so defensive.”

“Lass, I’m not blaming you. I just wanted you to have a peaceful afternoon.” I feel him moving closer, his hands take mine and he gently squeezes them “I’m just worried about you. I didn’t react in the best way, but we risked breaking the bedrest and you ended up getting even more stressed.” He sighs, I look up and can see the fear in his eyes “Don’t worry about me, I’m fine.” I whisper “I can’t exactly skip the stress with my mother breathing down my neck.”

“I really expected her to take things better after that call.”

“It’s because you have a kind heart and you think everyone else does too.” I kiss his cheek, “But my mother will not back down unless I do what she wants.” I add, huffing and flinging myself backwards so that I’m lying on the bed. “I feel bad for my grandparents, they prepared all that lunch, and my mother just ruined the whole thing.” I chuckle. Bobby hovers above me, and plants a gentle kiss on my nose “We could make it up to them. I did suggest that they come over and I’d make dinner.”

“I’d love that, but I would be useless.” I pout, hoping I’d be able to help around, but knowing Bobby, he wouldn’t allow me to lift a finger; especially after today. “You’d be very useful, resting like the sleeping beauty you are” he boops my nose “Babe, sleeping beauty was raped.”

“I’m talking about Disney’s, child-friendly version.” He rolls his eyes. “I know, I’m just messing with you.” I boop him back, “We should invite your family too. It would be nice to have a calm family dinner.” Bobby nods “Enough chit-chat,” he brings the tray and settles it between us “You need to eat, you barely had anything at lunch.”

***

**A week later - 11th October 2019**

**Raven and Bobby’s Residence**

**12:38 PM**

“It’s hell, babes. I thought the morning sickness was gone, but it’s here and it’s worse than ever.” I huff, forcefully shoving another forkful of my pancakes. “The morning sickness does take a while.” Chelsea states “But, once it’s over, the pregnancy will go smoothly, I’m sure.” She adds with a gentle smile, a hand over mine. “I don’t know… I feel like shit all the time, Bobby is always scared something might harm me, or the baby, and my mother’s words are starting to get to me, I don’t like it.” I rant, ending it in a frustrated huff.I look down at my plate, ashamed that the thought of getting an abortion had crossed my mind even though I was very angry at my mother suggesting it.

“I-I’m not sure what to do, Chels…Lying in bed all the damn time, it does your head in. All I can do is think.”

“If it’s just because of your mom, you should not let her get to you.”

“It’s not just my mother. Everything about this pregnancy is bad, the symptoms, the bedrest, Bobby putting his dream project aside… I could go on forever.” I sigh, “I’m not sure we can survive the pressure of this.”

“Raven, if you and Bobby can’t handle the pressure, then I’ve lost hope in relationships.” I chuckle, interrupting Chelsea “Babes, we’re not perfect.”Chelsea shakes her head “What I mean is, you two have a great relationship, and I’m more than sure you can survive this. Bobby loves you, and he won’t let anything ruin this.”

“I know, but… I’m scared.” I bite my lip nervously, my fingers fidgeting with the table cloth. “I would take you out somewhere to distract you, but you’re not allowed to leave the house yet.” She pouts. “Don’t worry, I’m just happy you’re here.” Chelsea smiles, but then purses her lips “Can I ask you something?” I nod, furrowing my eyebrows. “I didn’t mean to snoop, but I saw you looking up abortion clinics on your phone. Are you actually getting an abortion?”

_Shit._

“Not really…” I shrug. “Then why were you looking them up?”

“I want to try something. At the moment I’m very confused, and I thought maybe going there could help me come up with a decision?” I bite my lip, watching Chelsea’s wide eyes stare back at me. “Raven… have you told Bobby?”

“No! He’ll be upset. Besides, we’re only going to check it out, see how I feel”. Chelsea eyes me carefully, trying to detect a lie. “Would you take me there?”

“Raven, do not include me! This is something between you and Bobby.”

“Chelsea please. I need someone to come with me in case something goes wrong.”

“I’m sorry, but I cannot let you go before talking this out with your boyfriend.” She shakes her head. “Babes, I can’t do this alone, I need your support on this.” Chelsea huffs “All right, fine!”

***

**Grand River Women’s Clinic**

**1:12 PM**

The air is coldas we step into the clinic, Chelsea hung onto my arm tightly as she looks around the place. “Okay, you’ve seen it, now let’s go!” she whispers, pulling me back to the door “Chels! I need to get into the room before making the final decision, seeing the reception won’t help.” I tug at her arm and walk towards the reception desk, my heart hammering against my chest. “Hi, my friend here wants an abortion,” Chelsea speaks up before I get the chance. “Chels, that’s not-”

“Uh, I’m sorry but you can’t book an abortion.” The nurse mumbles, confusion evident on her face. “Oh that’s great! Let’s go.” Chelsea tugs at my arm but I shake my head “I’m just here for consultation.” I clarify, and the nurse nods, pulling out a clipboard and a pen“Please fill this out first.” I thank her, take the form in hand and stand aside to fill it.

“What if you decided that you want the abortion?” Chelsea whispers once I hand the from and sit in the waiting lounge. “Would you go through it?”

“O-Of course not. I’d have to talk to Bobby first.” I gulp fidgeting with my coat, dreading that conversation more than the idea of me realizing that I want the abortion. “Raven Baired?” As I stand up, the room begins to spin, but I gulp down and walk over to the room.

_This is just a trail run, no procedure will take place, calm down._

_You can leave whenever you want._

“Raven, you don’t have to do this.” Chelsea murmurs as I sit on the bed, “I need to make sure.” I reply, my eyes roaming around the cold room. “Does it have to be this lifeless, this sterile?”

“Well, they do perform abortions so, it won’t be all sunshine and rainbows.” Chelsea points out the obvious. “Raven you look uncomfortable, we can leave.” I shake my head vigorously, “I’m fine.” A nurse walks in with a clipboard in hand, “So, which one of you is Miss Baired?”

“That’s me.” My whisper is almost inaudible. “So, you’re thinking of having an abortion.” The words still sound odd to me, but I nod. “When was your last period?” the nurse asks “Uh, I don’t know for sure.” I furrow my eyebrows. “Do you know when is your due date?”

“Am I supposed to memorize all that now?!” I snap, unintentionally.“Babes, calm down,” Chelsea rubs my back, I inhale “Sorry, I’m just nervous. Does it happen here? In this room?”, the nurse nods “Yes”.

“Atmosphere is off in here.” I mumble mostly to myself. “Don’t worry, the procedure won’t be taking place today. We’ll need a few tests before that.” I glance at Chelsea who offers me a small smile. “T-This feels wrong.” I huff, hopping off the bed and walking out.

“Raven!” Chelsea calls as I push open the doors of the clinic. I inhale the fresh crisp air,

My leg bouncing up and down quickly. “Babes, you can’t run off like that!” her shoulders slump as she sees the tears in my eyes “I-I can’t believe I thought about killing my baby.” I mumble, “I let my mother’s horrible words get to me.” Chelsea remains quiet as she engulfs me in a hug, “But you’ve realized that you cannot kill this child, that means you love him already.”

“Or, her” She adds as she rubs my back. “C’mon, let me take you home.” She smiles when we break from the hug. “Thank you, Chels… and please don’t tell Bobby.”

“I won’t, but are you keeping this a secret from him?”

“I reckon she is.” I turn around in disbelief, confirming my suspicions as I meet Bobby’s eyes. “Uh, so I’ll see you soon, okay?” Chelsea mutters before walking away as fast as she can, and even though I don’t blame her, I wish she would’ve stayed with me. My cheeks flushed scarlet as I glance away from Bobby, who’s eyes were filled with what I can only tell from the brief glance, is anger. Without a word, I march towards his car, a lump already forming in my throat. My eyes well up as I watch him walking towards the car, anxiety rising with every passing second. “D-Did you go through it?” he asks as soon as he’s in the driver’s seat, he’s calm, but I can sense the hurt and disappointment in his tone.

“No.” I answer quickly, still avoiding his gaze, Bobby sighs then starts the engine. The ride home was silent, and even though I couldn’t find the courage to speak up, I hated it. I glance at Bobby every now and then, the guilt twisting my insides when I see utter confusion and pain in his eyes, one that I’ve caused.

I almost run inside the house once the car is parked, postponing the conversation as much as I can.As I lift the duvet and hide underneath it like a child, I hear Bobby close the front door, his slow footsteps getting closer “Raven,” He begins, but doesn’t say whatever was on his mind and instead he asks “Why?” His voice was making the guilt worse, I didn’t mean to hurt him but I did.

Seconds later, when I don’t answer, I feel him sit on the bed and sigh again “Can you please explain why I had to find out from Henrik?” I push the duvet down, confused as to how Henrik even knew, but as I see his glistening eyes, my heart drops. “Henrik?” he nods “The lads came to see me at work, and Henrik was texting Chelsea, who told him that she was taking you to an abortion clinic.”

_Great._

“Did I do something wrong?”

“N-No, why would you think that?”

“Because suddenly, Raven, my opinion doesn’t matter anymore. I thought we were supposed to be partners.” Bobby’s eyes focus on mine as the disappointment slowly turns to frustration, “You always want me to communicate things with you, and I have a hard time understanding why you’d make this decision on your own.” I narrow my eyes at him “Because I’m the pregnant one, Bobby. It’s my body.”

“That is not what I meant.” He huffs, but I keep on going away “It’s not easy, to be sick all the fucking time, have your mother disowning you for keeping the child and above all, watch your boyfriend slowly lose hope in his dreams coming true.”

“Raven, I mea-”

“This pregnancy is hell for me! All I wanted to do was go and see how I’d feel about the abortion, I wasn’t going through it.” I snap, my palms shaky as anger bubbles inside my veins. “I just wanted to be included.” Bobby huffs, standing up “I’m not saying what you can and can’t do!” he rubs his temple as he paces around the room. “All I want was for you, to talk to me, communicate.” He’s making back and forth hand gestures as he adds “You know, discuss things, like we discussed that we’d start a family.”

“You wouldn’t have agreed. I saw the excitement in your eyes when we had the first ultra sound.” I utter, a weak excuse but it’s something to defend myself even though he had a point. Bobby stops pacing, his hand rubbing his neck now as he replies “It’s not my call! If you’re exhausted and wanted to have a trial run, I would’ve come with you, without a word. But you seem to assume everything yourself.”

“What is that supposed to mean?” I furrow my eyebrows, tilting my head slightly to the left. “You assume that I’d be mad that you got pregnant, even though it takes two to have a child. You assume that I’d force you to stay pregnant against your will, refusing a request that just might help you realize what you really want, what kind of monster do you reckon I am, Raven?” his eyes are wide and full of disbelief. “If you would just give me a chance, see how I’d actually react instead of going on your own and making decisions without me!”

“I made no decision, Bobby!”

“You know well what I mean, but you know you’re wrong and you’re stubborn enough to defend even that!”

“I am not stubborn. I am trying to tell you that all I’ve done was just try!” my voice is raised now, desperation to prove my point taking over me. “Please don’t yell,” he sighs, trying his hardest to remain calm. “I don’t want to be mad, but it’s hard for me to remain calm when you’re making your case worse.” Bobby is pacing again, so I take a deep breath and calmly whisper “Bobby, we might not be able to afford having a baby now. Lying in bed was doing my head in.”

“I understand, I really do, but I’m your partner, Raven. We make decisions together, we discuss and communicate to keep this relationship healthy. I don’t want us to end up hurting each other. I want us to have a family, yes, but if that is going to tear us apart slowly, then we shouldn’t do it till we’re ready.” His voice is strangled now, and he swallows hard. “I don’t want to lose you.”

“I don’t want that either, which is why I wanted to go and see how I’d feel about the abortion… I wanted to tell you about this.”

“Well, thank you, very much for considering my feelings in that one, but it’s a wee bit late.” He huffs, before turning away and walking out of the room.


	4. Damage

**11th October 2019**

**Raven and Bobby’s residence**

**5:48 PM**

“I fucked up pretty bad, Serena.” I sniffle as I scribble like a five year old on the design I was working on - prior to taking a leave, then pressing undo. “He’s angry, disappointed and confused as hell. I don’t blame him, but, I’m scared that this had pushed him away.” I add, scratching my forehead. Serena sighs on speaker“I didn’t expect you to actually try and keep this a secret from him.”

“I had intentions of telling him.” I whine, even though I knew that this excuse is not enough to defend my case. “But it’s the fact that you didn’t even consider letting him know about it before is why he’s so angry, love.” She states the obvious thing I was too stubborn to consider. “I don’t know how I can make it up to him.” I chew on my bottom lip as I give up on ever finishing up the design “Apologizing would be nice.”

“Serena, of course I’m apologizing but, there has to be something done to show him how sorry I really am.” I huff as I close the laptop and lie back down on the bed. “Well, you know your way around his heart. Do the one thing that proves to him that you regret this.”

“This is not a small fight, Serena, I don’t blame him if he wants to end things.”

Serena laughs “Hun, do you even know your boyfriend at all?”

“Why does everyone seem to know him more than I?” I roll my eyes. “Bobby loves me but he has dignity, and he won’t stay in a relationship where he feels disrespected or mistreated. You guys paint him to be this huge simp for some reason.”

“You’re being dramatic. Bobby would break up with you if you cheated on him or something terrible like that, but he wouldn’t break up with you for this. Yes, what you’ve done is bad, he’d still want you two to talk things out , so stop overreacting, and instead think of how you’ll fix this.”

“I guess you’re right, I’m just scared.” I admit, burying my face in my hands “Thanks, Serena. I really needed to get this out.” I can almost see her smile as she says “Not a problem love. Let me know how it goes.” before we both end the call.

*******

**10:52 PM**

My shower was over about ten minutes ago, but I still sat under the hot water, not daring to leave the comfort of the steamy bathroom. I was so drained I couldn’t move a finger, the entire day had been exhausting both mentally and physically. My fight with Bobby this afternoon was replaying in my head over and over again, and with every recollection of my stupid defensive retorts, I feel angrier with myself.

_Pick yourself up, and apologize._

Huffing, I grip the sides of the tub and pull myself up, and as soon as I turn the faucet off, I hear the front door shutting. “Raven?” Bobby’s faint voice rings through the walls as I pull my robe on. Gulping, I exit the shower and head straight to sit on the bed, just in time for Bobby to walk inside the room, and I notice how tired he looks.“Hey you,” I give him a small smile and he returns it before sitting beside me, and I immediately wrap my arms around him tightly. “I love you, I’m sorry.” I utter the words out, my eyes welling up.

_What is with the water works, woman?_

He sighs, hesitating a little at first, but then his palms rub my back as he turns to press our bodies together “I’m really sorry, I was being stupid and impulsive… again.” Bobby doesn’t reply, waiting for me to continue “I would never mean to hurt you.” I break from the embrace “You’re right, I should’ve told you.” I add, before taking his hand in mine, “We’re in this together and I was selfish. I admit, my mother’s words got to me, but I’m the one to blame here, and it’s hypocritical of me to ask you to communicate with me when I don’t do it.” I look down at my lap “And I wouldn’t blame you for whatever action you decide on taking. If you want space, I understand that.”

“Space?” I look up and see his eyes widen in fear and confusion. “Why would I ask you for space, Raven?”

“Well, I did almost take our baby’s life without telling you. That’s got to be something that would push you away.” I leave his hand and scoot away, bringing my knees up to my chest and hugging them tightly “That of course will hurt, but your happiness and comfort is more important.” My voice was muffled, a lump forming in my throat. I didn’t dare to meet his eyes, but I could feel his gaze on me. “And you really think that my way of coping is to leave you?” he whispers, disbelief thick in his tone. I shrug, still avoiding his gaze. Bobby gently caresses my chin, and lifts my head up so our eyes can meet “Are you serious, Rave?” he seems unsure wether to smile or frown “I am upset with your decision but, that doesn’t mean I’d want to leave you.” His eyebrows are knit together. “Of course, I didn’t want this fight to happen, but it did, and we should fix it.” He whispers softly, still unsure of my reaction. “I want us to get through this too.” I mumble and he smiles “Good. I know it’s hard but, I’m not giving up.”

I nod and he continues “I understand that you wanted some sort of clear answer, you felt really confused?” I nod again “And so, you wanted to try, but there was no procedure planned at all.”

“Nothing more than a consultation”

“All right. Uh, why couldn’t you go through with the consultation?” Bobby asks nervously, his thumb absentmindedly fidgeting with mine. As I recall it, pain begins throbbing in my abdomen.“Sitting in that room, where I was told that the procedure did take place there, it just felt wrong. Even though the nurse was only asking me regular questions like when I was due and all, I couldn’t answer them, my brain just wouldn’t let me remember anything. I was nervous, angry, and scared as hell.” I didn’t notice a tear had slipped until Bobby’s warm hand gently wiped it away. “If only I could express exactly how dumb and stupid that was, Bobby. For me to think that I’d be able to even consider murdering our baby, is so out of character for me.” He nods understandingly.

“I didn’t ask you to come with me or tell you because I knew you’d overthink this, worry too much when there was no decision made at all. Regardless, I was mistaken and for that I apologize. I’ve taken you and your kindness for granted, I should have given you more credit.” Bobby’s hand was still on my cheek by the time I finished, wiping the remaining tears or gently caressing.

“I understand that you felt the need to go and give this a try. But Raven, I cannot explain the amount of fear that consumed me as I drove to the clinic, hoping that you’d still be in the waiting room or having second thoughts. It’s selfish, but you have no idea how much I’ve grown to love the mere thought of being a dad, of already starting our family. I thought I could possibly talk to you, get to know why exactly you considered this option now instead of in the beginning. But once I got there and saw you outside the clinic, I panicked because it could mean that I was too late.” His hands are now nervously fumbling with the duvet as he speaks “I don’t know if I’ve done anything to make you believe that I wouldn’t support you, but I want you to know that I always will. You just have to come talk to me.” The guilt twisted in my chest as my eyes met his, and I could see how my selfishness had hurt him. In a way, I showed Bobby that I didn’t trust his reaction or decision in this matter, which wasn’t the case at all, but in attempting not to hurt him, I did.

“I know, I’m sorry. I wanted us both to be the kind of couple that communicates this, the kind that doesn’t do anything rash without consulting with their partner, and I’ve done the opposite.”

“I’m not mad.” He clarifies and I nod, unable to speak with the lump reforming in my throat. “I cannot be mad at you for longer than five minutes.” Bobby jokes, getting a chuckle out of me. “But you should.”

Bobby shuffles closer, “Maybe, but I simply cannot.” His lips leave a soft kiss on my left cheek, starting a trail of tender kisses all the way to my lips, before his lips meet mine I mumble “Maybe I don’t deserve you.” Bobby steals a kiss and says, “Shut up and kiss me already.”

A wide grin spreads across my face as Bobby gently lifts me onto his lap, before bringing our lips together in an agonizingly slow, passionate kiss. My fingers are immediately running through his dreads, trailing an invisible line down to his nape, while he holds me firmly against him. “I love you” he whispers as we pull apart, before planting a light kiss on my nose “Please, don’t ever think about giving me space or me leaving.” Our eyes meet and his fingers intertwine with mine. “It’s just that I messed up really bad, and normally people around me would need some space.” I shrug. “I’m not those people. I love you to bits, Raven. If we don’t fight for this relationship to work, then that means we’re not fully in it.”

My eyes were welling up again as I wrap my arms around his waist, burying my face in his neck. “I love you too.” I cry against his shirt, allowing his scent to consume my senses. I feel his lips plant a lingering kiss to my forehead “It’s okay, lass.” He reassures me with another kiss on my forehead. My emotions were all over the place, but Bobby didn’t mind as he plays with my hair, allowing me to soak his clothes.

A few seconds later, and when the tears dried up, Bobby kisses my cheeks and says, “C’mon, how about we go make something together?”

“You just got back from work, you must be tired.” I lean back enough to see him, but still close for us to remain comfortable in each other’s embrace. “A little, but it’s nothing a cuddle won’t fix.” He smiles, “Hop on my back,” he beams before shifting aside so I can sit back on the mattress, and I cannot be a kill joy , so I position myself behind him and wrap my arms around his neckand my legs around his waist.

“Can we make brownies?” I whisper before leaving a quick kiss on his neck “Sure thing, lass.” He holds me from the back of my knees before getting up and walking towards the kitchen.

*** 

**13th October 2019**

**Raven and Bobby’s residence**

**5:05 PM**

“Rave!” I hear Bobby calling "Everyone’s on their way, are you ready?”

“Yes, just a moment!” I reply as I clasp on a bracelet that matches my outfit, before rolling my chair out of the room and towards the dinning room. “I’m so sick of this bedrest thing.” I groan as I lean back, finally making it into the dinning room. “I know, lass. But, it’ll be over soon.” Bobby whispers as he plants a soft kiss on my head, before adding the final plates on the table. “Do you think the doctor would actually let me walk in the next appointment?” 

“I think that depends on your health,” he says as he adjusts the table cloth before pointing at me “And if you’ve been taking care of yourself.” I shrug “I have.”

“You have, indeed.” Bobby nods sarcastically with his eyes closed. “Seriously, I’ve stopped feeling sick, it’s just exhaustion now.” I whisper the last part. Bobby’s brows furrow “Lass, I don’t think that’s a good sign.” He takes a seat in front of me “Are you sure you feel okay? Did you notice any bleeding?”

“Bobby, I’m fine.” I reassure him with a smile. “I just need to get through this week, and hopefully Dr. Ryan will see some positive outcome from this bedrest.

“If you’re still tired by tomorrow morning, we’re going to the hospital. I’m not waiting for a whole week.” Bobby shakes his head. Before I can reply, the door bell rings loudly. “I’ll get it, you stay still, looking all cute.” Bobby bit his lip as he walked to open the door. “Yeah I look real sexy in this chair.”I chuckle.

“Something smells great!” Olivia bursts in, sniffing as her parents stare at her before walking in, followed by my grandparents. “My goodness, Raven you look exhausted.” My grandma frowns while approaching me. “Thanks, you look great too!”

“I’m serious young lady, are you sleeping well? Resting?”

I glance at Bobby for assistance, but he also leans against the kitchen island waiting for my answer. “Yes, why does no one think I can take care of myself?” I slump my shoulders , pouting “Because you can’t, you wait until you’re in critical status to do something about it.” Grandpa retorts “All right, I feel attacked enough, let’s just eat.” I add as Bobby brings the last dish onto the table.

***

**9:33 PM**

“Those cream puffs were lovely, thank you.” My grandmother says as she places down her plate. “I’m glad we could have a peaceful night.” I smile, indirecting my mother’s outbursts even if she isn’t here to hear it. “Oh!” my grandmother perks up, retrieving a small blue bag from her purse before giving it to Bobby and I. “This is a little something I’ve been meaning to give to you two, but I didn’t get the chance until today.” She smiled.

Inside the bag, I find two knitted blue and white socks, with little yellow ducks on the rim. “It’s cold and the little one will need something made with love.” I smile as I feel the tiny socks between the tips of my fingers. “Speaking of which, when are you planning on having a baby shower?” Liv perks up, “I could help you plan and manage it.” She grins, excitement clear in her eyes. “Well, I wouldn’t ask anyone else to, you’re the pro at planning after all.”

As time passes and laughter is shared, it was time for everyone to leave, and so Bobby grabs hold of my chair and wheels me to the front door. “Thank you for dinner,” my grandfather smiles as he hugs Bobby. “As for you, you better get enough rest.”

“Oh trust me, all I ever do is rest.” I chuckle, gripping the handles of the chair to stand but everyone panics. “Relax, I’ll only stand to properly hug you all.” I push myself up, wobbling at little. “Raven…” Bobby whispers, worry evident in his tone. I close my eyes as my body begins to sway from side to side.

_You’re okay, just breathe…. breathe._

That was the last thing I thought as I teeter to the ground in a sudden thud.

_***_

**14th October 2019**

**Ridgeview Hospital**

**3:47 AM**

My consciousness returns slowly, a dim white light shining above me. As my eyes open wider, I feel a sharp pain in my abdomen, my baby! I place my palms over my belly, and slightly sit up, but the pain increases and I end up slumping back down. I look around and find Olivia snoozing off on an uncomfortable looking chair next to me. “Liv,” my throat felt like sandpaper, I clear my it before repeating, a little louder this time “Olivia.”

She jolts, looking around worriedly. “Why am I here? What happened to my baby?” she looks down, her hands over her ears. “Olivia, please tell me, what is wrong? Is my baby okay? My whole body hurts.”

“Raven, I-” she goes quiet. Her demeanor was frighteningly reluctant. “Olivia, what the fuck happened?”

“Calm down, we don’t want you to pass out again.”

“What the hell happened to my baby!?” I interrogate through the pain, my voice higher. Olivia opens her mouth to reply, but her attention averts to the opening door, where Bobby comes in, a worried expression evident on his face. “Liv, what’s-” Bobby goes quite as soon as he notices that I am awake now, his posture stiff and his puffy, red eyes wide.

“I..” he mumbles.

*******

**\- Bobby’s POV -**

**Bobby and Raven’s Residence**

**10 hours earlier.**

**_Thud_ **

Raven’s body lay on the floor suddenly, I immediately kneel beside her and can see that her eyes were shut. “Raven!” I shake her shoulders, tears pricking at my eyes, “Bobby… she’s bleeding.” My mother panically announces, I avert my attention to her legs and find scarlet red liquid staining her dress. Without a word, I pick her up in my arms and rush outside “Olivia, get me my keys!” I stammered.

As Olivia drove us to the closest hospital, my eyes were glued onto Raven’s calm expression, hot and rapid tears flowing down my face. It all happened so quickly, none of us would’e guessed that upon standing it would cause her to pass out. My eyes wander over to the blood puddle on her dress, sobbing as I revisit the incident.

“Is she still out?”

“Yes.” I sniffle, wiping a tear with the back of my hand.“How far are we from a hospital?” I add, not taking my eyes off of her. “A few minutes, Ridgeview is very close.” I nod to myself, gently caressing Raven’s soft cheeks. “You’ll be okay. You will both be okay.” I mumble, placing tender kisses over her forehead.

Thankfully, the paramedics rushed to take Raven to a room the moment we arrived at the Emergency gate, but my heart was heavy with fear. Raven was still bleeding by the time they took her in, and deep inside I knew, things are definitely not going to be okay.

“Bobby, you should sit.” Liv whispered, I shake my head rapidly “I can’t…” scratching the back of my head, I pace around the room, anxiously waiting for any good news. But its radio silent for two hours, so silent that my thoughts grow louder, and stronger. “She’s going to survive this, don’t worry.”

“If we lose our baby, I’m not sure she’ll take it well.”

“You won’t! This could be something minor!”

“Liv, I don’t want to burst your bubble, but I’ve seen the amount of blood and it doesn’t look minor.”Olivia squints her eyes at me “And do you think allowing your negative emotions and thoughts to take over you, are a good thing now? Is it helpful to Raven? To you?”

“Of course not! But it’s the reality of the situation.” I sneer, “Both of you, enough!” I heard dad scolding us as he walked towards us with mom, and Raven’s grandparents. “Now is not the time for this nonsense.” He gave me a sorrowful glance, which I had appreciated very much at this time.

“Any news, darling?” mom asks as she gently hugs me. “Not yet,” I huff, rubbing my palms on my jeans. “Take a breath, my son. All will be well.” My father calmly says, patting my shoulder, but all I could do is recall the way Raven passed out right in front of me.

“Was she taking good care of herself the past few days?” mom inquires, as I busily bite my thumb. “Yes, I’ve made sure she did.”

“Well, what if she wasn’t exactly resting when you weren’t around?” Olivia whispers, mainly to herself but we all hear her. “Why would she do that?” I scoff, finding it hard to believe that Raven would consider harming herself and our baby purposely. “Didn’t she go to that clinic to-”

“Olivia, don’t” I cut her off, not wishing to hear whatever she had in mind because I refused to believe it.

_She wouldn’t risk her health, if she actually wanted an abortion she would’ve gone back to the clinic._

“Clinic?” Raven’s grandfather furrows his eyebrows, while my dad and everyone else patiently waits for a full explanation. Sighing, I begin to explain the whole story, trying my hardest to show them that Raven never meant to actually go through it, but even as I tell myself that, I have doubts whether Raven actually left those thoughts behind or not.

No one said a word when I was done, not that they needed to, their facial expressions were enough for me to understand that they’re shocked and sad to hear what I had just said.

Moments later someone finally emerges form the O.R, blood all over their gloves. I hastily wipe my blurry eyes and walk towards the nurse who asks for Raven’s family. Time felt like it wasn’t passing as we waited for the nurse to just say what happened to my Raven, but as the words rolled out of his mouth, my heart plummeted to the floor.

Raven lost the baby and was close to death, if we hadn’t rushed her in time, we could’ve lost her too. I couldn’t comprehend the idea that if we were just a wee bit late, things would be ten times worse than it is now.

If I found those news hard to digest, how will Raven react?


End file.
